Varuna Residency - Richard Yaxley
Like many writers that I’ve met—even the most wildly successful—I’m extraordinarily good at advocating my lack of capacity. Self-deprecation is the public face of the self-doubt that plagues us, which means that awards and opportunities come as a genuine shock.
Oh, it won’t be me! There’s always someone else who’s more worthy! My work is ... [choose adjective here] underdeveloped / banal / unoriginal / tawdry. Sigh.
‘I’ve won a Varuna Fellowship,’ I said to my wife.
‘I didn’t even know you’d entered.’
‘I didn’t tell you. I didn’t think I’d win.’ (Subtext: and I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me. Self is the great deceiver, wrote the New Zealand poet, James K. Baxter).
I toddled off to the Blue Mountains (toddling is my preferred form of ambulation). It was late Spring in 2022, windy when I arrived, but the gardens were in full bloom and Katoomba felt very invitational.
Varuna is a magnificent country house. Agatha Christie would have adored it, so too Poirot or Miss Marple. There are cottage gardens and winding paths, creaking stairs, drawing rooms, and mysterious nooks and crannies. When I went downstairs for evening drinks, I expected to see a florid colonel, his disgruntled relatives and the twenty-something vamp he’d annoyingly married. Instead, I was greeted by the very generous and supportive staff—these are genuinely lovely people—and several other writers.
A writing retreat at Varuna works because it’s holistic. The message is clear: enjoy your time. Go for walks; the scenery is superb. Revel in the company of other creatives. Take advantage of the coffee shops. Read a book; there are hundreds to choose from. Above all, don’t feel that you have to bang out a certain number of words per day. Don’t punish yourself for taking a break. Breathe, and when you’re ready, create.
I was fortunate enough to be housed in the main bedroom, formerly occupied by Eleanor Dark and her husband, the wonderful couple who bequeathed Varuna to Australia’s writers. Alongside my bedroom was the writing space, overlooking the gardens. I settled in and found my rhythm, another key aspect of Varuna. Being there is like retuning an instrument and rediscovering the music that is the key to our profession.
The days passed gently, like clouds. I wrote, walked to the Three Sisters or to Leura, wrote some more, ate from the well-stocked fridge, did some editing, met the other writers for some invigorating chat and the invariably excellent dinner that is provided, read and slept. I didn’t ‘bang out’ words but I did write a lot and most of it was pretty solid, certainly worth reviewing and possibly even keeping.
I’m very grateful for the opportunity provided by Queensland Writers Centre and Varuna. Every writer, no matter where they are in their career, needs affirmation as part of our search for that most elusive of targets, creative self-regard. As I toddled down the mountainside after my two week fellowship, I felt enriched and empowered. I’d been given time and space to breathe, and was a better writer—and person—for that.
Richard Yaxley has written seven novels for adult and young adult audiences. He is a past winner of the Prime Minister’s Literary Award for Young Adult Literature, the ACU Book of the Year Award and the Queensland Premier’s Literary Award for Young Adult Fiction and is a former recipient of a Fellowship from the May Gibbs Literature Trust. Richard has a background in secondary school teaching, as well as Masters Degrees in Cultural Studies and Human Rights.
Recent publications include Harmony (2021), A New Kind of Everything (2020), The Happiness Quest (2018); This Is My Song (2017); Joyous and Moonbeam (2013).
2024 applications are now open for the Queensland Writers Centre Established Writers Fellowship and Underrepresented Writers Fellowship, offered in partnership with Varuna, The National Writers’ House. Find out more and apply here.